Buddhists Like Pie
by redjuly
Summary: A bipolar demon curses Sanzo... unfortunately no one knows about the spell…yet…[Warning:363 and some 5885 but NO yaoi, Shounenai for sure though]
1. Fate Sucks

So originally I rated this fic M just incase, but I am really not going to put anything in here that is an M rated scene soooo…. Yeah… but do proceed with caution please.

Note: this story is **not** centered around 363 _but_ it is in there (read warning below).

**Warning**: 363, so there are Sanzo x Goku relations but no outright yaoi though it may be implied later, I do not know yet. All I can say is that I will **not** be writing a full on sex scene so no worries. Also it is probable that roundabout 5885 will also come into the picture, though once again no yaoi. … I will stick to shounen-ai and cute happy moments in this fic.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Saiyuki or any of its characters.

Happy days and vivid nights to all!

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Ch 1: Fate Sucks

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"Hohohohohohohohohoho!" the high pitched laughter peeled through the air and Sanzo party recoiled with abhorrence.

"Yeesh, what a witch," the redhead commented as his blade retracted.

Goku's face was wrinkled with disgust, "bet that tastes really bad," his ever present thoughts of food came out in customary dialogue.

Neither Sanzo nor Hakkai said anything but both stood near their brothers in arms all equally repulsed by youkai before them.

She was huge and bulging, wearing smaller clothing than should have ever been permitted on the 400 plus pound creature. "You know boys," she licked the tip of her finger then made a circular motion just above her breast, "I'm a lonely demon." +sigh+. Her long black hair was greasy as she twirled it around while equally black shining eyes stared out over the four warriors.

An aggravated Gojyo grimaced, "Goku! Go get her!" he commanded as he pointed with his weapon at the youkai.

"Uh-uh! I'm not touching that!" Golden eyes shuddered and looked away from the sickening sight.

The kappa would have none of it, he reached out a hand and gripping the youth's clothes flung him towards the demon, "do what you're told stupid monkey!"

Goku flailed and barely managed to produce his precious Nyoibou to prevent landing on the filthy heap of a creature.

POOF!

Suddenly she was skinny to the point of revulsion, "don't touch me! Rape! Rape! Get away!" she was shrieking hysterically and scooting back from Goku.

Sanzo growled low in his chest and he tried to cover his bleeding ears as the screeches continued.

"Goddammit! Dumb chimp! Look what you did!" Gojyo yelled at Goku while fleeing the noise by sticking both fingers in his ears.

Goku would have retaliated had he been able to hear the kappa. But presently he felt like his brain was being scrabbled as the piercing cries crushed his senses.

A gun shot sounded though it was barely audible above the shrieks.

Silence…

Sanzo stood with one arm outstretched holding his smoking gun while the other hand clamped tight on an ear. "fftt… Pathetic," lowering his arms the monk walked over to look at his handiwork.

The shot was clean and blood pooled around the back of her head. Sanzo kicked an arm as if to ascertain the reality of death. Her body flopped a bit; satisfied the blonde turned his back on her.

A bizarre chant emptied from dead lips "ai… smench… blun… zhenay… hayn… xet… tolly… ray…"

Sanzo whipped around in time to be hit with a concealed force of vast magnitude. His step wavered and he had to widen his stance in order to remain standing. "Ugh!"

Goku sprang in front of his teacher and pointed the Nyoibou at the bloodied youkai.

A blade, followed in short order by a ki blast, hit the fiend and her body disintegrated. Her wicked cackling resonated around them even though she had vanished from existence.

Worried, Goku spun around to face Sanzo, "Sensei! Are you okay!"

WHACK!

"Be quiet," Sanzo's mystical fan of divine punishment disappeared back into thin air. The priest had felt with every nerve the blast from the demon but decided that whatever the chant was it had been left unfinished. He had no signs or symptoms that he knew naturally came with a curse and since that is what the youkai had been attempting he concluded that he was safe.

Climbing back into Jeep the four men set out on their usual path… West…

----

When the she-demon had attacked they had been driving for three days without a proper bed or meal and every one of them was irritable. Even Hakkai the, generally, level headed good mannered brunette was beginning to get testy. This of course meant that the rest of the bunch was twice as moody as normal and on top of it all neither Sanzo nor Gojyo had any cigarettes left.

Smash! Thunk! Jab! Crack!

Gojyo and Goku wrestled in the back. The redhead pinned the monkey beneath his elbow and whacked the youths head against hard metal.

Had it been any other than the saru himself they would have been out cold but as it was Goku's thick skull saved him once again. "BAKA!" he shouted and thrust his knee upward jabbing Gojyo in a very sensitive place.

"Nuh!" the kappa rolled off Goku and wilted, falling under the seat.

"Stupid pervert," Goku didn't have the energy to continue his retaliation but none the less, after returning to his seat, he swung his legs back and forth kicking Gojyo each time.

Within ten or twenty minutes the redhead regained his composure and began to beat on his shortest traveling companion once more.

In the front seat Hakkai was far to parched to even sputter one 'maa maa' and Sanzo was seriously contemplating putting his gun to his own head. But that thought didn't last long...

Click… Bang+ricochet+ Ping!

Movements in the rear ceased, the still frame image revealed long fingers clamped around Goku's neck and shorter fingers pulling to the splitting point the kappa's lips. Retracting their limbs slowly the boys moved and sat in their respective seats as Sanzo glared like death at them.

"Ah, a city," Hakkai said thankfully as he breathed in rigidly, stress cracking in his voice.

And indeed, looming ahead of them was a large and bustling metropolis at the center of which sat an institution of mammoth proportions.

Squabbling forgotten Goku let out a spunky whoop! And nearly fell from the vehicle.

"Don't fall out monkey, we're not stopping to scrape you from the pavement," the priests tone was as gritty as usual.

Feeling his heart lift a little Hakkai pushed down on the pedal as they sped towards the comforts of society.

----

"Wow!" Goku could not help letting an exclamation escape his lips as they entered the ornate and decorative hotel Sanzo had selected.

The monk ordered two rooms next to one another and walked assertively away from the counter leaving the three men he traveled with to bring up their belongings.

When the task of putting away baggage had been completed Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku ambled downstairs to the dinning area. Where they found the monk, he was puffing away and playing a game of Mahjongg.

Click….click…………click,click,click…. The tiles were noisily moved from one place to another. The two brunettes and the redhead arranged themselves around the table and all relaxed as they took in the scene around them.

The hotel was large, four or five stories tall and nearly a city block in width and length. The architecture was reminiscent of European Gothic and its location near one of the city canals made it quite a peaceful spot.

The dining room itself was decorated with a rather lot of draping white cloth and vases of blue asters. The assorted tropical plant looming in a corner was not so uncommon either.

"This has got to be one of the nicer places we've stayed," Gojyo said not talking about the building.

A pretty young thing walked over to the table, "what can I get for you gentlemen?" Her pigtails bobbed as she happily giggled.

"I know what I want," Gojyo wrapped an arm around her legs and pulled her in close.

She laughed in that ditzy little girl laugh and smacked Gojyo just a bit harder than she should have on the back of his head. "Oh, sir! You're so funny! Tee Hee," she tilted her little head sideways and smiled stupidly.

Gojyo suddenly felt the place wasn't quite as nice as he'd thought and instead lifted his menu.

Pigtail's turned to Sanzo, "Sir your order should be out in five is there anything I can add to that for you?" her white teeth gleamed a great deal.

"Sake…" Sanzo grunted as he moved another tile.

"Another?" the girl looked a bit suppressed but complied anyway making a sixth tick mark on her paper pad. "And how about for you?" she turned to Hakkai.

"I will take these," Hakkai had picked out two dishes from the menu, "thank you." He smiled kindly back at the waitress.

"And I'll have this and two of these and ooh! All of this!" Goku ran his finger down a page highlighting in the air what his stomach asked for.

"Same here," said the kappa tossing the menu onto the table and lighting a cigarette.

Ten minutes passed and out came a cart laden with food, "woo! Dinner!" Goku's face was filled with elated happiness. "Sanzo! Look at that food!" he drooled at the delicious array of sustenance and reaching for a plate…

WHAP!

"My food," Sanzo stated after smacking Goku. The priest dug into the buffet beside him, emptying a plate then placing it back on the stainless steel caddy. It was unusual for Sanzo to eat quite so much but they had been without adequate sustenance for a while now so none thought to hard on the matter.

Goku felt rejected and his stomach growled noisily. The poor monkey was forced to sit and watch until his own food came which he had to fight for anyway.

"No!"

Tug… pull… grab

"It's mine you pervert!" Goku struggled for ownership of his food. "Naahhh!"

"To bad baka saru!" Gojyo gulped down the desired target.

"Ahhgg!"

An exchange of eyeball flung daggers crossed between the two men.

----

It was at least five hours before all four men were back at the hotel, relaxing in the priest and monkey's shared room. Each of them were washed and fed, though Goku was finding himself hungry once again. Which, unfortunately, he voiced…

"Saanzoooo…. I'm hu,"

WHACK!

Brown hair splashed around Goku's face as he fell forward a bit, "wha… Sanz,"

WHACK!

"Sa,"

WHACK! WHACK!

A terribly distressed look came across Goku's features and he looked so childish that Sanzo had to hit him one more time.

WHACK!

Goku fell onto the bed clutching at his sore cranium. "Waaahh! Sanzo you're so mean."

The intrepid monk lit two cigarettes and sucked on both when they began to burn. He sighed deeply letting the tar blacken his lungs.

Even Gojyo lifted an eyebrow at the odd action but the three seemed to concur that it wasn't worth questioning. None of them dared to cross Sanzo especially with the blonde's display of such readiness to assault.

An hour passed in edgy silence. Gojyo and Hakkai played short yet lazy games of poker and for once in a blue moon Goku didn't make a peep. This of course was due to the fact that every time he tried to get up or speak he was met with the paper avenger. Sanzo had actually taken up a seat next to the monkey's bed and monitored every motion the saru made.

Goku looked pitifully at Hakkai, and curled further into a ball. Lying on his side the youth periodically shot nervous glances at Sanzo who was noisily shuffling a deck of worn playing cards and puffing away.

…. "Well… we have all been on the road quite awhile… I think I'm going to bed." Hakkai slid past the moody monk and out the door.

Gojyo watched the brunette leave. He didn't say anything just simply threw a humored look at the cowering Goku and left via the same door Hakkai had exited by.

----

The next morning the monkey was curled in on himself, blankets wrapped tightly around the bronze body and an anxious twitch at the corners of his sleeping eyes.

A serene face framed by golden tresses leaned over the youth as contemplative thoughts ran behind violet eyes, "Wake up!"

BLAM!

Sanzo's fan smacked the pillow as Goku vaulted from his bed.

Sturdy trained feet landed with expert precision on the wooden floor behind Sanzo. However still being wobbly from sleep the monkey fell over hard onto his backside. "Ssseessss…ow" he rubbed his sore bottom. Normally even the shrieking youkai would not have been able to wake him but his entire sleep had been filled with dreams of Sanzo pursuing him, paper fan in tight grasp. This was cause enough for a vigilant sleep.

Whap.

Sanzo laid a light swat onto Goku's head, "improvement." The monk turned and exited to bang on Hakkai and Gojyo's door at full volume. "Wake up, time to go!"

Twenty minutes and one gold card assigned bill later three travelers and one little white dragon stood listening to their leader in shock.

"We're not going west any more."

**Okay so something is definitely wrong with Sanzo. **

**You already know what because of my summary but Gojyo, Hakkai, and Goku still have no clue… evil grin **

**Find out in chapter two just how the yarn unwinds: Mounting Testament to Insanity**

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A/N: I generally hope to bring forward a happy and humorous experience through this story so please tell me what you think of my tale. Thank You and I hope you enjoy 'Buddhists Like Pie'.


	2. Mounting Testament to Insanity

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Warning: This chapter may seem like a bowl full of idiocy to some, and to those people I apologize, my sense of humor is a bit odd. Otherwise enjoy!

Happy days and vivid nights to all!

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Ch 2: Mounting Testament to Insanity

**----**

"We are no longer going west," Sanzo walked in front of them striding as though he were a drill instructor. "We will never more be caught up in a perpetual battle that is not ours."

Hakkai braved the possible retaliation, "um… why not? Have you spoken with um… Kanzeon… or something..?" His voice wavered a bit as his heart hoped that he was missing somewhat the meaning behind the monk's announcement.

"No," Sanzo was blunt.

"Then why aren't we driving already," Gojyo said as though it were not a question and turned to look at Jeep.

"Because… I… don't… want… to… Now, we have things to do," Sanzo turned walked away from the group and with a wave of his arm motioned for them to follow.

Nervous looks thrown between comrades Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku didn't really have a choice in the matter. Besides that they were more than a little confused and wanted to know what was going on.

Goku quickened his step and caught up with Sanzo; "um… sensei, are you alright?" he looked up with troubled golden eyes.

The monk glanced down at Goku… hesitation…… and…. WHACK!

Sanzo smacked Goku again, "be quiet, you look better that way," the priest rounded the street corner.

Scowling as he held his bruised head Goku followed Sanzo, his tolerance being tested.

Hakkai and Gojyo walked a bit further behind teacher and student as they spoke in hushed tones.

"What's going on with saggy eyes?" Gojyo jabbed forward a finger, motioning at Sanzo.

"I have no idea," Hakkai looked the monk up and down as though some where stuck to him there might be a post-it-note which explained the predicament. "He has been acting a bit off ever since we got here." Leaning further in Hakkai tried to hush his tone an additional notch. "The behavior last night was questioning but I thought a good rest would solve it."

"Apparently not," Gojyo rolled his eyes a bit in their sockets.

Sanzo turned around as they stopped in front of an odd looking building, "Alright. This… is ours," he motioned up at the odd, shorter than their surroundings, building. It was simple and brick with a large shop window on the left side.

Goku wanted to know what the whole thing was about but he dared not part his lips for speech.

On the other hand the redhead felt no animosity flowing between him and the monk; "explain what's going on priest?" …he was wrong.

WHACK!

"What the hell!" Gojyo yelled.

Sanzo shrugged as if to tell the kappa he had smacked him for the simple bliss of it, "This is our new business," he shot a wide grin at them and crossed his arms. "A bakery."

The air stilled for a moment as a shock rippled through the group….Then…Even Hakkai started to laugh as the reality that Sanzo must been joking set in.

BANG!

A rather livid monk fired his gun and a bullet zipped past his companions just a tad to close for comfort. "… Time to clean this place up." He turned on heel, walked up the three front steps and had to jiggle the door handle to get the key to work in it.

'_What the hell is going on!'_ the synonymous thought was thrown between the two brunettes and the redhead as their confusion multiplied sixfold.

Inside the building was musty and dark. With a click Sanzo flipped on the light…

kzinct….

"Damn," Sanzo made a bit of an angry face before striding into the darkness. Thunk, click… click… Sanzo had gone to the fuse box… After a few flickers, which warned of electrical problems, illumination made sight possible.

"Holy…oh my…" Hakkai gasped. From the outside the building looked short and squat compared to its surroundings but from the inside it became obvious that appearances are not every thing.

The innards were also brick and extended like a warehouse about two hundred feet back. A high dark ceiling overshadowed the small office in the corner and five old dusty ovens lay in slight ruin around the floor. Dripping noisily into a tipped sink water fell from rusty pipes to slide down the drain. The place was a wreck but obviously had housed a rather large production in its better days.

Sanzo walked to a front corner and retrieved cleaning materials which had obviously been placed there rather recently due to their lack of dust. Striding back to his companions he thrust out an arm and passed off the supplies to Goku. "Clean." Sanzo turned to Hakkai and Gojyo, "you two, go buy these," he shoved a yellow piece of paper out at the two men. "Also, get sake and cigarettes while you're at it."

They were all too happy to comply and left with quick feet.

----

Eyes wide and confused Gojyo slipped the paper out from between Hakkai's unmoving fingers, "so," he swallowed, "what's on the list?"

_Paint, nails, screws, soap, sponges, pots, pans, bowls, whisks, spatulas, spoons, knives, forks, flour, sugar, milk, cream, assorted fruit, salt, baking powder, yeast, baking soda, assorted nuts, oil, butter, doilies etc… _

All were ordered in mass quantities and the duo became increasingly worried as they re-read the list.

"We need to figure out what's going on here and in short order at that…" Hakkai breathed as they approached the market. "Let's see if we can't get in contact with Kanzeon somehow," the two strode rapidly past the vendors who were selling an immeasurable number if 'stuffs' along with actual necessities.

----

The evening sun settled onto the horizon, "ow…" Goku moaned as he looked over his abraded fingers. He had cleaned the entire facility and was currently seated next to the bottom of one of the newly spotless ovens hiding from Sanzo. _'… ergh… when are Hakkai and Gojyo going to get back from shopping, they've been gone all day…'_ +sigh+

"Oi Goku," The monk's voice was directly in his ear.

Goku's insides jumped and he tried to squirm away. Sanzo's breath smelled of liquor and the monkey searched frantically with his eyes for an escape route.

The blonde's hand moved inside his cloak and the brunette readied himself for a swat. Instead the monk drew from his sleeve a flask and held it out in his hand.

Goku reached uncertainly and took the container from Sanzo. He tipped it back slowly, the liquid was hot against his lips but it felt and tasted quite nice after the days toils. He breathed out a sigh and strangely enough did not break into mindless chatter.

They sat there for a peaceful moment, Goku sipping gingerly at the sake. The evening was warm and a breeze came through the open door bringing the scents of the dusty street with it.

Violet eyes looked at the youth… slowly the priest stretched out an arm…

Boom! …"We're back!" Gojyo and Hakkai bumped through the door arms clutched around bags and boxes.

Sanzo retracted his arm and went to help.

Goku was left with the flask in his hand. _'…?... Sanzo is acting so weird… I hope Hakkai and Gojyo figured out the problem…' _He slumped back, exhausted and fell into peaceful slumber.

----

It was later now, the sun had sunk below the horizon and all supplies had been correctly filed away.

Sanzo lifted Goku's sleeping body and carried him to one of the three rooms hidden away behind the office. Two were bedrooms and the center room was filled with filing cabinets and boxes of old records. The monk chose the room to the left; it was larger by a good ten square feet.

Inside the space was dark, an old painted over tin ceiling reflected the meager light that filtered through the two windows. Three of the ten foot high walls were covered with peeling green wallpaper the fourth wall was bare and painted beige. Most definitely the space was lacking charm but that could be addressed later.

Setting Goku down into one of the two cots Sanzo pulled off the monkey's boots and rested them in the corner.

After opening the windows the flaxen haired man climbed into his own cot and went to sleep…

----

In their room two doors down Hakkai and Gojyo discussed the 'situation'.

The redhead rubbed his temples as the thoughts in his head decided to crash resulting in multiple casualties. "I have no idea… ugh…"

Hakkai's legs were crossed as he lay back on the green pop up bed. "I am surprised we couldn't reach Kanzeon."

"Yeah, I thought she was always watching us like some sort of omnipresent stalker," Gojyo drew a long stream of smoke from his cigarette and teetered precariously on the edge of his rickety cot before finding his balance and releasing the breath.

Hakkai inhaled deeply, he had come to feel comfort in the scent of second hand smoke, "looks like we will have to figure this out on our own."

Gojyo thumped a foot against the ground squashing a cockroach, "looks like we have a bug problem too." His foot made a small squelching sound when leather sole peeled away from bug intestine.

"Let's go over what we know," Hakkai put his arms behind his head making the reclining position a bit more comfortable.

"Sanzo's crazy, gone nuts, loco…," Gojyo chomped on one of the rolls they'd bought at market.

"That is not what I meant but yes," Hakkai let his eyes close as ideas rolled over inside his brain. "Sanzo has been eating nearly as much as Goku, smoking twice as much, literally. Making avid use of his paper fan, not that that is too different… but refusing to continue with our mission of martyrdom and opening a bakery…" the words sounded extremely odd and when Hakkai said them he wondered if he wouldn't simply wake from a dream. "ahem… any way the point is…" Hakkai forgot his point…

Gojyo picked at his teeth, "you want to know what I think?" the redhead looked at his friend, "Sanzo's found a girl."

"Oh of all the idiotic notions," Hakkai sat up to give Gojyo a look not unlike the one a mother would give her child when said child stated such idiotic notion.

"Nah, I'm serious, he totally left the hotel last night," the kappa shucked off his boots.

"Yes, but if he spent that time with a woman then when did he purchase this?" Hakkai waved an arm to indicate the building.

"Uh… damn… I got nothing," He shrugged and deposited his shirt on the cot to use as a pillow.

The conversation died off, "you know," the brunette said after about fifteen minutes, "maybe he's just tired of all of it."

… "um… we are opening a bakery Hakkai… **a bakery**…there's definitely something wrong," Gojyo drew out the sound of each letter in the word before rolling over to face the wall.

Both men sighed.

Tap, tap, tap… tap, tap, tap…

"Hey Hakkai, your flying rat is at the window," Gojyo looked to his right where indeed Hakuryu was flapping and looking frantic.

"Hakuryu!" Hakkai lunged from his cot tipping it over and opened the window for his poor small winged friend.

"Kyuu!" The dragon expressed his happiness and dropped down to land in the brunette's arms. "Kyu! Kyu!" A tiny white head snuggled into Hakkai's warmth. "Kuy!"

Hakkai hugged his companion and set the foldable bed back up on its legs. Dropping himself and the little dragon onto the cot he relaxed again, "Where did you go?" green eyes smiled at his pet, "you flew away at market, what ever have you been up to?"

"You coddle that thing way too much Hakkai," Gojyo still had his back facing his friend but could easily see the exact scene that was taking place in his mind.

"Hakuryu… what is this?" The brunette reached down to inspect the dragon's leg. Hanging from the little pale limb was a gold fetter, a delicate chain dangled from the shackle and attached to the chain was a small brass box. "What in the world…?"

Gojyo heard the strange exclamations coming form Hakkai and rolled to observe.

The brunette flipped back the tiny latch on the brass box. A quiet chime sounded and a light from within the small container glowed gently.

"Hello boys," Kanzeon's voice came forth, "it seems as though you have once again run into a bit of trouble." The voice paused in order to let a soft laugh ring, "meet me in the center of the city tomorrow at three, ciao." The box snapped shut, vibrated of its own accord then went poof and disintegrated into tin air.

Hakkai lay surprised, his hands still in the air from where they had been holding the box.

"Kyu!" Hakuryu looked happy now that the thing on his leg was gone and proceeded to snuggle down further into his master.

"Well at least we have plans for tomorrow," Gojyo rolled back over and went to sleep as though nothing were out of order.

Hakkai couldn't sleep right away, his stomach clenched in on itself and he could feel the churning inside. _'…why does this whole thing give me a bad feeling…'_

----

bebe be beep… bebe be beep… bebe be beep

Sanzo tapped his alarm clock; the soft blue digits read 4:00am, switching it off he got up. The night had brought with it a refreshing chill and the air still clung to its residual coolness.

"mmmmnnn…." Goku drooled a bit in his deep sleep and rolled over.

Taking little notice the priest moved from the makeshift bedroom and into the office. _'…work…' _

----

KABOOM!

Gojyo shot out of his bed an unfortunately into the wall. "oof!" Picking himself up the redhead stumbled out through both the bedroom and office doors.

Sanzo was toes over nose thrown against the far wall. Blonde hair could no longer be seen through all the soot and charcoal that covered the monk.

Hakkai who had been awake for a few hours now ran back into the shop paintbrush in hand.

"I'm fine…" Sanzo muttered to himself as he stood, "stupid furnace…"

Returning to the task of boiler repair he ignored Gojyo as the redhead stood holding onto the door frame.

"…oi…" Hakkai motioned the sleepy Gojyo over. They walked out the front door and into the busy street.

The kappa stared at the 'bakery' window; a large splash of blue had been painted with fluffy white clouds. In front of the sky a detailed orange paper plane flew brazenly on. The redhead raised an eyebrow, "um… Hakkai…"

Hakkai held out a piece of paper with a messy sketch on it, notes scribbled in the margins in the priests handwriting. "I don't want to talk about it." He stuffed the paper back into his pocket. Dipping his paintbrush into the orange and resuming his task.

"So what's our excuse for leaving today?" Gojyo teased the end of a misplaced tress.

"I told Sanzo we would be leaving to get sake he had no problem," Hakkai detailed a wing on the plane.

"Huh… okay then."

"GOJYO!" Sanzo's voice boomed from within.

The redhead cringed and went inside.

----

I had only been eight when the furnace blast had woken the kappa. Now, four hours later he wished for battle with demons over the insane monk and whiny pet.

Sanzo had woken Goku moments after calling Gojyo inside and the two had been set to work fixing sinks, ovens, and broken cupboards. The only thing not in need of repair was the overly large refrigerator located at the back of the facility; which had last night been filled with perishables from the market.

The priest himself was writing calmly yet quickly in the office and making sense of records and bills from the center room.

----

Three o'clock came all too slowly and Gojyo and Hakkai nearly ran as they exited the 'bakery' leaving Goku clawing at the door.

"Please don't leave me here alone again!" The saru slumped sadly until Sanzo walked out of his office and shot a 'get back to work' look at Goku. Who obediently took up his wrench and dragged himself over to the last of the broken ovens.

"Stupid Sanzo…mumble mumble mumble… what is wrong with him any way…." Goku couldn't get the oven to work and frustrated whacked the machinery with a screwdriver. Suddenly he felt a foreboding presence at his back. He turned around and gave his best idiot face as the monkey looked up at Sanzo smiling "eh-heh."

----

Standing in the center of the city Hakkai and Gojyo stared at the colossal building in front of them.

"A library?" The redhead had both hands in his pockets and a cigarette drooping from his lips.

"Precisely!" an all too happy feminine voice came from behind them. Kanzeon was striding up the steps towards the men visibly brimming with pride and delight. "Follow me to the book of curses boys," she hooked her arms around their shoulders without missing a beat in her stride and pulled Hakkai and Gojyo into the building.

**Yes, a bakery! Don't scoff! **

**Just think of all the tasty pastries and cookies shaped like little white dragons we can make! Not to mention the possibility of putting all four Saiyuki cuties in aprons **

**Discover what the book of curses contains in chapter three: Tome of Blaspheme **

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A/N: I warned you all that my sense of humor was odd! You read it! You can't unread it! Of course I can always change bits if anyone has a particularly good suggestion that I like. Soooo please review.


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